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Wednesday 30 September 2015

Another message...




Hey Mr. R,

Como vai a vida por Londres? 

Aqui na “Wilderness” tudo óptimo. Depois de ires embora tivemos uma semana inteira com o céu extremamente cinzento, coberto pelo fumo dos fogos e alguma chuva. Esta semana estamos finalmente de volta ao calor e ao céu azul. Só te digo que tiveste imensa sorte com o tempo durante a tua semana de férias na wilderness.
(Ok, já chega de Português) :)

Yesterday I went to see my psychologist, and (as always) it was extremely helpful. He is amazing and gave me lots of insight. BTW – he says you have a very particular way of saying stuff (coding messages). :)

As I have expressed, this hasn’t been an easy process for me. But with time and your help I know I will get exactly where I need to be.  

For the vacation in Van I was under the impression that you and I were going to be meeting with an open heart. The conversations during the preceding 11 months lead me to be assertively take that approach. And to believe that you shared the same understanding. Although, that was not the case on your end. I could sense right from the second I picked up at the airport that you came with a completely sealed heart, some brick walls and an extra set of chains wrapped around it. And it was a shock for me. A disappointment (not going to lie), hurtful and very hard to understand. But, that being sad I don’t believe it was premeditated. You have your own reasons to choose that approach. And as hard it might be to understand it, I respect it and tried to give you space the best I could. Part of me just wishes you had prepared me for that. It would have been very helpful. But, what it’s done it’s done and there is nothing we can do to change that. 

With all this being sad, I am reaching you to seek clarity. With this message, I am asking you to be honest with yourself and myself. Please enlighten me with your truth, your reasoning behind all this. What happen in between our “first serious conversation” in February, and the time you booked your ticket in May. It seems to be the piece of the puzzle that is lacking that will allow me to make peace with this chapter and turn the page. Initially, something might have attracted you to want to be in a relative close contact with me for so long. What was that? What happened in between that changed it? Why were you deliberately so closed and impersonal with me while here? Why was it so hard to engage in an honest and sincere conversation? You seemed so excited to come here. But when you got here, it seemed like you did not want to be here at all. At least not with me. What was the chain of events and realizations, R?

Nowadays, when I think of you I see 2 different people: the R I met in Portugal and the UK - fun, exited, motivated, happy, carrying, giving, social, talkative, and passionate; and the other R - cold, harsh, frustrated, confused, and resilient, and intimidating. With an open wound.
At this stage, I don’t think anything you will say will hurt me more. Your silence and resistance is more hurtful that anything you might say. And I mean it when I say it. So please don’t hold back. Open up and tell me what is going through your mind. Above all, I am your friend. Just like I said, I am not mad. I understand you tried. I am just having a hard time with all the other things in between. I have always wanted to be there for you and I sincerely feel that there are a couple of very useful things for you and I learn with this experience. I am open to talk if you want to. Or just shoot me an email or a text, if your feel more comfortable.

Sincerely,

Seren Dipity

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